Nothing Is Forever. Sometimes The End Is Closer Than You Realize

The Seven Year Itch Is A Bitch, Why Do We Even Try

I married who I thought was a very solid man. He had a good job and worked hard. He loved children, but already had one daughter so not having any more children wasn’t an issue. I thought he was perfect for marriage. Back at that time I was a working mom. I worked tough hours that alternated, and twelve hour days where not uncommon. I had always gone into relationships with a check list in mind. I understand now that as a defense I really didn’t care much to love someone with my heart. It was all about fitting my requirements. I loved people logically.

Evaluating His Marriage Qualities

I think it was our second date that I showed up with a binder of my financials. I made enough to not need financial help, and a full time nanny. For me though there was a formula for a family which included a man. Really wanted I always wanted was a wife. That was in many ways fixed with a full-time nanny that lived on my property. I also at the time had my brothers living with me. I look back and I was running a monarchy. I had built myself a little kingdom on five acres. And like many reigns my husband was a figure head. I had the last word on everything and often ruled while at work or running erronds.

Are We Ever Really Happy

I was content though. The pressure it seems would have been tough I think, now anyway I realize that. When I was in it though I was too busy to stop and think I had a lot of lives depending on me. With seven children though you rarely have time to stop and contemplate your place in the universe. My marriage progressed normally I think. We rarely fought, and our goals were very similiar. I personnaly have not had a good relationship with God and he wasn’t religious. We both focused on the kids and work. So it went for several years with nothing to really even mention. It was just life.

Seven Years Was Sneaking Up On Us

At about the six year mark his grandfather passed away. He became depressed. He shared with me that his father I ad committed suicide when he was a child. In that same year his mother passed away. He handled the affairs of them both at the end. I felt it went unnaturally well. No conflict with his siblings. His father was mentioned again. We are nearing the seven year I mark. Seven years is important for me.

Being Able To Leave Made Me Feel Stronger

My previous two marriages ended at the seven year mark. I want to point out that although we didn’t fight very much are marriage was a little stiff. I really didn’t love him as much as he loved me. I think think that was due to my heart being full of my children. There wasn’t much I left over for anything else. Love was also something I viewed as a weakness. I had no use for weakness. All considering in my opinion everything we as going well. That was until one of our weekend getaways in which we would get away just the two of us. I his was how we celebrated my birthday, anniversary, and Valentine’s day. In our case it was all in the same month. Looking back now, I know he had a lot on his plate with normal running of our household and the deaths in his family still fresh. The weekend went normal enough. I tended to be stuck to my phone normally, so left it at home to allow for a weekend with no distractions.

Nearing the Seven Year Mark My Marriage Was On The Line

The trouble started when we arrived back home and I was eager to get my phone. I started to mention some of the messages I had received, and that I planned to return a call. In that moment something snapped in this man. I didn’t see it yet, but it was happening. He asked me is I could delay the call, and if I really needed the attention the phone gave me. I didn’t see his mind cracking. I told him there was no amount of attention that would be too much for me. Then he punched me in the face. I was so startled, I barely saw him run from the room. I was in shock. My reaction to this was to drive 45 minutes to get a Starbucks coffee drink. When I pulled up to the house on my return was when the real trouble began.

Taken By Surprise

The door was locked, I was confused. We never locked the door. At this point I’m mad. I bang on the door. It takes a few moments but he comes to the door looking like he just woke up. I am still pretty mad about being hit, and begin to tell him he needs to get his act together be before the children return home. He turns to go back into the house. Just like in a movie I get a strange feeling and start to back out of the house. It’s at that point I realize he has reached a gun just inside of our entry way and is turning toward me. I turned a ran for my SUV. Strangely enough I had thrown the keys on the passenger seat when I got out of the car. I had never done this prior. He was reaching for the keys at the ignition. I was stuck, not quite completely inside the car. The keys are still safe on the seat. I m terrified as he puts pressure on the door which has me pinned and points the gun at the door. My fear is he shoots me through that door in the struggle to keep me from getting completely in the car.

Just A Blur

The next thirty minutes is really a blur. I have the essence of the conversation that he thinks I’m going to leave him. This overshadowing doom had finally driven him to the point of hurting me. His ultimate plan was to then kill himself. His back up plan was to live the rest of his life in prison.

Crying

After talking and crying on my part he was finally ready to shoot me. He backed up from the car door. I rush to shut and lock the door. Which could have only taken a moment. The gun was aimed at me at this point. He pulled the trigger.

The Gun Jammed

The gun jammed. He dropped that one and reached for the second one he had at the ready just inside the door. I managed to get the car started and the gas pushed. The last thing I saw of him was in my rear mirror as I drove and watched him aim the gun at my car and pull the trigger.

More On The 7 Year Itch

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