I made it through boot camp and finished my term while being the mother of three children at the time. The reason I mention my children’s success is that statistically speaking my children being born to a teenager should have been raised on welfare and in turn they would be troubled and a burden to society. I just would like to say that isn’t what always happens. I raised my children to work and to do what is needed to care for thier children to keep them safe and healthy. It wasn’t always easy, in fact as a teen mother thier where a lot of really hard days. I would say that coming from the household that I came from I was filled with hate and rage. My children truly saved my life, because my only focus during each of thier 18 years of childhood was my children. Every decision I made was for thier benefit. That meant always working and pushing myself to make more money and to spend all of my time between my children and work. At the age of 25 with 5 children at that time and working full time I went to college full-time. It took me over ten years but I recieved my masters degree in business. So my children learned to value the military and college.
I don’t think I’m special or different I’m just explaining that I should have ended up on the streets homeless and probably hooked on drugs because of my childhood. And it was solely my desire to be everything my mother wasn’t as a mother that led to me putting my children first at every turn in my life. It also led me to adopting two of my siblings. I was never in the home when they where with my parents. I learned my parents had two young children the same ages as my two oldest and that they where born with fetal alcohol syndrome. I also found that my parents had only gotten worse during my absence. Because child protection wasn’t as comprehensive during my childhood I was never permanently taken from my parents although I had been in protective custody three times it never stuck. I felt like none of my family did the right thing and helped me so I did what I had desperately wished had been done for me, and I called CPS on my parents. At 26 with 5 children and working and going to school I became a foster parent two my two youngest siblings. I later legally adopted them and was blessed to raise 7 children. I also had two other brothers that where aged between myself and my youngest siblings. Both of them lived on my property at times while they got themselves together. My parents had left hurtful scars on thier hearts also and although they where adults they needed a loving parent figure in thier life and I was able to do that for them. I actually owned a few homes adjacent to my own which they resided in before launching thier adult successful lives. Yes, even they where able to heal and become well adjusted successful members of society with families of thier own and consistently working.
I wanted to share with you all that in the end we all made it out of this horror of a family home. My future stories may become even more heartbreaking and uncomfortable for readers. I went you to know there will be no death or lives ending on the street. We have all been able to turn our legacy around and not carry it to the next generation. It was more difficult for us and we did things backwards at times and it took us longer then others but in the end we are surviving. Sometimes in order to protect your children and not allow our own scars and issues to carry over we can only just survive. I was damaged in so many ways but my children where not raised to erase my scars. They where raised knowing enough about me to understand that my advice was coming from a place of experience. They knew my history of having been a teen parent. During the process of fostering and adopting my siblings all of my children learned about CPS and the process. They where exposed to my parents and witnessed them as they where. They had a front row seat of what my life had started with. So they had a better understanding of me and an idea of my motivations. They grew up seeing the world for what it was, no starry eyed glossed over depiction that some children where blessed with.
I envy that scenario but I was so deeply rooted in the reality of life. My children saw me take in women who where usually abused in some way and needed help in some way. These where the women usually hired as my children’s nannies and house keepers while they healed and in many cases left my care able to make better decisions in thier life. I am telling my story memory by memory also in the hope that someone anyone reads them and can identify something in thier life that they can connect with. And with that connection can see that they can also be successful and eventually heal enough to survive. So this is dedicated to surviving.