We Can Beat The Odds And Come Out Better For It

I Have Many Reasons To Be Grateful

There wasn’t a lot of time in my life to stop and contemplate my path. I kept myself busy I’m sure in order to keep myself from stopping. If I had stopped I’m not sure if I would have started again. Leaving my house at 14 there were many things I didn’t finish. Not because I’m a quitter, but because I had to make decisions. Working was required, and didn’t fit into highschool life.

The GED Just Set My Mind To Do More

I did receive my GED but I was never happy with that. I had set my mind to going to college. I felt that with a college degree I would never have to worry about the GED. So with that in mind I figured the military would be the best route. I also felt doing the military would also show I did have the capability to complete what I started. I made it through boot camp and finished my term while being the mother of three children at the time.

This One Is About Sucess

The reason I mention my children’s success is that statistically speaking my children being born to a teenager should have been raised on welfare and in turn they would be troubled and a burden to society. I just would like to say that isn’t what always happens. And on the other side of that it isn’t like the reality TV show 16 and pregnant either. There was no reconciliation with my family once left. I never had someone who would rent me an apartment or buy a car. I did have the support of my children’s father. But our relationship was difficult also.

I Tried To Teach My Kids The Tools In Life

I raised my children to work and to do what is needed to care for thier children to keep them safe and healthy. It wasn’t always easy, in fact as a teen mother their were a lot of really hard ddays. Luckily they never seemed as hard as living with my parents. I would say that coming from the household that I came from I was filled with hate and rage. My children truly saved my life, because my only focus during each of their 18 years of childhood was my children.

I Really Refused To Fail

Every decision I made was for thier benefit. That meant always working and pushing myself. Trying to make more money and to spend all of my time between my children and work. At the age of 25 with 5 children, I was working full time. Sticking to my plan for a college degree I went to college full-time. It took me over ten years but I recieved my masters degree in business. So my children learned to value the military and college.

No Special Fairy Dust Was Sprinkled On Me

I don’t think I’m special or different I’m just explaining that I should have ended up on the streets. Many with a background do become homeless and hooked on drugs. I think it was solely my desire to be everything my mother wasn’t. Being a mother that put my children first was my goal. It was the choice at every turn in my life. It also led me to adopting two of my siblings.

I Had To Help Them Because I Knew What They Were Experiencing

I was never in the home when they where with my parents. I learned my parents had two young children the same ages as my two oldest. Finding out that they where born with fetal alcohol syndrome was a defining moment. I also found that my parents had only gotten worse during my absence. Because child protection wasn’t as comprehensive during my childhood, I was never permanently taken from my parents. I had been in protective custody three times it just never stuck.

I Couldn’t Rely On Any Of My Family

I felt like none of my family did the right thing and helped me. None of my family seemed at all inclined to get involved this time.vI did what I had desperately wished had been done for me, and I called CPS on my parents. At 26 with 5 children and working. And remember I was going to school also. I became a foster parent two my two youngest siblings. I later legally adopted them and was blessed to raise 7 children.

And There Is More

I also had two other brothers that where aged between myself and my youngest siblings. Both of them lived on my property at times while they got themselves together. My parents had left hurtful scars on their hearts also. Being adults technically didn’t mean they were ready. They needed a loving parent figure in their life and I was able to do that for them. I actually owned a few homes adjacent to my own. I was grateful they resided in before launching their adult successful lives. Yes, even they where able to heal and become well adjusted successful members of society with families of thier own and consistently working.

Author selfie art mental health

The Ending Is Much Happier Then It Could Have Been

I wanted to share with you all that in the end we all made it out of this horror of a family home. My future stories may become even more heartbreaking and uncomfortable for readers. I want you to know there will be no death or lives ending on the street. We have all been able to turn our legacy around and not carry it to the next generation. It was more difficult for us and we did things backwards at times. Taking us longer then others but in the end we are surviving.

Sometimes Enough Is Really Enough

Sometimes in order to protect your children and not allow our own scars and issues to carry over we can only just survive. I was damaged in so many ways but my children where not raised to erase my scars. They where raised knowing enough about me to understand. Knowing that my advice was coming from a place of experience. They knew my history of having been a teen parent.

The Kids Learned Tough Lessons

During the process of fostering and adopting my siblings all of my children learned about CPS and the process. They where exposed to my parents and witnessed them as they where. They had a front row seat of what my life had started with. So they had a better understanding of me and an idea of my motivations. They grew up seeing the world for what it was, no starry eyed glossed over depiction that some children where blessed with.

No Fairy Tales

I envy that scenario but I was so deeply rooted in the reality of life. My children saw me take in women who where usually abused. In some way they needed help. These where the women usually hired as my children’s nannies and house keepers. Giving them time while they healed and in many cases left my care able to make better decisions in their life. I am telling my story memory by memory. In the hope that someone reads them and can identify something in their life that they can connect with. And with that connection can see that they can also be successful and eventually heal enough to survive.

So this is dedicated to surviving.

I am providing some links below about addiction and abuse affecting homelessness. You will also find links to other articles about real life memories.

Homelessness and Addiction – Addiction Center

Homelessness and addiction are closely connected, with homelessness contributing to substance abuse and substance abuse contributing to homelessness.

Domestic Violence – National Alliance to End Homelessness

Domestic Violence and Homelessness A domestic violence experience is common among youth, single adults, and families who become homeless. For many, it is the immediate cause of their homelessness. Survivors of domestic violence may turn to homeless service programs seeking […]

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